"When you feel an emotion that we dislike, such as fear or anger, we want to control it to disappear. But that only intensifies. The road is to help you mature. " Levy Norberto Control is one of the strategies we use to deal with the emotions with which we feel uncomfortable, such as anger, fear, helplessness, frustration, insecurity, among others. When we silence the voice control of our emotions. There are many ways of controlling emotions. We rationalize, repress, deny or simply trying to turn them off, in case we become too threatening. But the result of this "disciplined effort" to control the emotions, is the emotional insanity, loss of contact with the self, the inauthenticity, the disintegration of the soul.
To deny or repress "unwanted emotions" like fear, sadness or anger, will not disappear, even "discipline and control" is used up. Continue this in our lives, but speaking to other forms, such as body stiffness, insomnia, addiction, lack of spontaneity, uncontrolled eruption of the traits and feelings under control, compulsiveness in some of our actions, functional degradation of the vital sequence of our communication (perception – feeling – expression). Emotion is energy generated by our body and which by its nature seeks to express. Now the energy, physical principle, is not destroyed but transformed. So it is with emotion when avoiding repress expressed through tears, words, laughter, etc.
.., is transformed into diseases such as gastritis, digestive problems, cardiovascular problems, cancer, among other diseases, insanity or psychological as guilt, depression, anxiety, etc. The key to expertise in managing and expressing emotions is not to deny them or control them, but to allow flow, which does not mean that if, for example, are angry (a) your spouse, give vent to your anger hurt him, or transgress boundaries and rights, but rather to let you report your emotion is going on with you, and then decide how to treat it as more secure and productive. The implicit idea is that of "emotional judo" which is to see emotion as a force that seeks to express a need for the body and try to absorb the energy or force (flow with what you are feeling – to acquire full consciousness) and help (not block it, control it) to complete his move, using his strength to continue his way, instead of blocking it, causing us to lie down or overwhelm. On the other hand, release the energy that usually use to suppress emotions cause a huge flow of vitality which is manifested in the form of relaxation, creativity, satisfaction and personal power. There are three metaphors that can serve to illustrate the handling of emotions. One is to compare the excitement with a water well contained, repressed, no movement, which is equivalent to control / suppress emotions. What about the water in such conditions? Naturally rot, lose vitality. The second metaphor is that of an tsunami, whose violence of water, destroys everything in its path, causing death and devastation, which is equivalent to give free rein to our emotions without measuring consequences, so that we become servants of our emotions, hurting others and ourselves and interpersonal conflict saturating The third metaphor is that of a hydroelectric dam that allows water to flow, yet to be channeled for productive purposes. This is the image I want to make fresh emotional when talking about judo. Bibliography: Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, Javier Vergara Editor, 1996 Martin Doris Boeck and Karin, What is EQ Emotional intelligence, Edaf, 1997