I do not have reason to hurry me, what more it lacks to me is motivation. As a reason to waste my anguish, eye for that meeting for the front; faces, signboards, cars, machines, smoke, people more people; for where go as many people? I always had the craze of looking at for everything. I feel a little of hunger and I smell I inhale it good of hamburger that comes of a dirty and crowded snack bar. I feel that my stomach already got used to the lack of food in the alias process. I do not feel fatigue, but an agony that corrodes. A sensation of failure, a migraine that never seems to have end. I finished to come back of some workmanships.
It does not have vacant at the moment. I received the reply from the person in charge, who did not condoeu itself with my arguments? five mouths to treat? ‘ ‘ I cannot manufacture empregos’ ‘ it said me without fondness to be rough. I remember now of what the candidate said in the television: ‘ ‘ The dismissed man does not have dignidade.’ ‘ I do not know well what it wanted to say with dignity, but I do not have dignity, as I do not have clothes, food in house, moments of joy, days without the pain of the defeat, the easy sadness. Way without will to come back toward house. There I will find the looks indagadores of the Matilde and the children as to ask to me? there? It swims – I go to answer constrangido. They would lie for, saying that I received a fast one I wave of the person in charge in a workmanship. Tomorrow, perhaps! Already I thought about almost everything.
To kill me. To be run over, death almost without pain. The shepherd of a church, which I do not remember the name said, me that for the law of God the life does not belong to me. I agreed to it and I took off the idea of the head. I think now as it would be easy to practise an assault. One of these weapons of toy? how if they seem the true ones, is not same? a dark night, I arrive in the closed and ready sina? ‘ ‘ it lost, it lost, pass grana’ ‘ I learned the words in the television. A neighbor who touches the life with small assaults said me that difficult he is the first time. Later people he loses the fear and if he accustoms. Not if he can is to be greedy. To the times trainings in front of the mended mirror of adhesive ribbon, cmoda there of house; pointed finger as if was a weapon? you the crazy one, Z! it recriminates the Matilde. I find that I would not be a good assailant, lack principles. Ah! those programs of television that take people in return for our land! It could be good for me. Television filming, the Matilde of new clothes, the family all demonstrating a joy that has very not has, the airplane trip. Bobagem; I only find that dumb the address of the misery. I look a place to seat and not meeting. I fix it of the shoe was an excrement. Preguinho is hurting the dedo! Somebody that I do not know, I do not know for which reason, asks my name and I answer without thinking: – Unemployed!